We are exceptionally good at noticing other people.
And what do we notice about them?
Their strengths. Sometimes they inspire us, sometimes they rile us. Maybe we are envious of skills or ways that they have that we wish we have.
Their blind spots, or weaknesses. The things that frustrate the heck out of us about them is a common one that we are really good at.
We can spot when someone interrupts, distracts, avoids, over-controls, under-delivers, over-explains, doesn’t listen, takes things personally, fires email bullets… you know all that sort of stuff.
We question it, gossip about it, challenge it, get frustrated by it and even label it. And often we are not wrong in our thinking.
We’d even say “If only they could see themselves”.
There’s a whole heap of energy going on looking outwardly there. It feels safer and it is one of the easiest things to do.
Practicing self-awareness is much harder, well, at first it will feel like that. Because we have to consider looking at ourselves and what about us we do well and yet at the same time might totally grind peoples gears about us!
It’s natural protective human behaviour to look outwardly. When we focus on them, we become comfortably distanced from ourselves.
Looking inward challenges us to notice and consider our own patterns. What are we doing and why do we do it? And that can feel very exposing.
What happens when we don’t look inward?
When self-awareness is missing we tend to…
- Repeat the same conflicts with different people
- Feel misunderstood or frustrated more often than we’d like
- Assume intent where there is none
- React quickly… and reflect slowly
- Believe the problem is with them… and not with us
This is where energy zapping inner friction reeks havoc.
At work, in leadership, in relationships. Not because we are incapable, but because we are simply unaware and under practiced.
Seeing yourself is a choice
We can choose to see self-awareness as self-criticism. We can choose to see it as overly challenging what we think we know about ourselves. Or we can think of it as being in the know, better informed and truly understanding and acknowledging our authentic self so that we can choose what we do with that information.
When we take the leap of faith to really see ourselves, we begin to notice…
- Our default reactions under pressure
- The emotional triggers that hijack our thinking
- The stories we tell ourselves about others
- How our intentions sometimes land differently to how we expect
- The habits we’ve built unconsciously for protection, performance, or approval
And we see our true mega strengths, which are often not what we thought they were!
None of this makes us wrong, right, good or bad… it makes us more informed than a person that chooses not to become self-aware.
Self-awareness give you options!
What we gain when we understand ourselves
Instead of reacting… we can respond.
Instead of assuming… we can enquire.
Instead of defending… we can adapt.
When we understand ourselves we begin to:
- Communicate with more clarity and empathy
- Take feedback on board without taking it to heart
- Navigate difference without friction
- Lead self before leading others
- Choose our behaviours rather than default to them
Why self-awareness is your brilliance mega-strength
Self-aware people are not the easiest in the room… they’re the most effective.
They learn faster, adapt quicker, build trust more easily, waste less energy.
Self-awareness is not about fixing, it’s about unlocking and identifying what’s already there… our strengths, our blind spots and our brilliant potential.
That’s not weakness… it’s strategic!
The Brilliant Takeaway
Choosing to become self-aware isn’t a weakness, it’s a strategic well-being decision that you’ll only wish you decided sooner.
It helps you communicate with intention.
It accelerates your growth.
It strengthens your relationships.
It makes you easier to lead… and better at leading.
It changes the way you show up for yourself… and everyone around you.
So next time you find yourself reacting, spiralling, or repeating an old pattern, ask yourself… Is this the version of me I want to lead with… or is there something here I need to better understand?
At GEN-b, we help individuals and teams recognise their impact, strengthen emotional intelligence, and create workplaces where energy, empathy and accountability are embodied.
If you’d like to generate a more self-aware, inclusive, effective and resilient culture, then let’s talk about how our implicit response Neurotech and Openmind solutions reveal where brilliance truly lies.
